InFaith, God, Health & Healing, Love, Momma, Prayer

Choices We Make

Earlier this evening, I returned from town and proceeded to show Momma the new light switch covers I found for her bathroom. Why does she need new ones? Because Cayenne and I started organizing her bathroom/closet and working on covering up the not so flattering green paint. The thing is whomever painted that bathroom, also painted the light switch covers as well as the ones for the outlets. Not only did they paint them, but they painted them with glitter or something mixed into the paint. It’s awful and I like glitter!

Now, this is not something we had to do. Mom did ask me to help organize her home and I’ve been doing that. The thing is I’ve noticed that a few things needed repaired or replace or touched up. I’ve seen or thought, “Momma would like/appreciate this” and so off I go singing my little happy tune. I like to organize. I like to decorate. I enjoy all things crafty. It keeps me busy and gives me something nice to do while I’m here.

It’s right up my alley of fun. The thing is it does take time, more than Momma probably cares for. It would take less time IF…

  • I had more hands on deck.
  • Money flowed like rivers, bills weren’t looming, and things were always on sale!
  • Little hands and paws stayed out of the way.
  • School breaks and weekends were non-existent.
  • Dinner magically appeared, the rest of the house stayed spotless, and every dish clean.

Projects take time because life does not stop moving forward and I am only one person. Cayenne is a big help when she is able to be here, but with all her puppies… Well, life for her is chaotic and loud at moment. Which I understand. If I had that many puppies I’d need one of them hug me jackets!

Today, I had planned on going to Lowe’s and working on the bathroom so more. However, there is no school here on Monday’s (which sucks) and then Holly called needing someone to take Hannah to a doctor’s appointment. Therefore, my day got rerouted and yet, I was able to snag a sale on the light covers! 50% at Hobby Lobby this week. I adore the fact that Hobby Lobby basically rotates their ads. I might have also snagged two little books that were on sale. Those darn books, they always get me.

Anyway, I was showing this light covers to Momma and she was getting all emotional and telling me that she’s sorry if I don’t feel appreciated and that she is just having a hard time being grateful right now.

I’ve NO idea what she’s talking about! So I’m thinking, uh, what happened today, what did I miss? She went to work and she was cleaning the kitchen when I came in. I did not do that before taking Hannah into the Dr. because I had been enjoying my coffee and writing. I was trying to finish a post before I had to leave. I knew the dishes would be there when I returned…well, until she took care of it that is.

I’m still not sure what has her upset, but it’s been slowly rolling out of her eyes all evening. I’ve caught it multiple times. She’s been super quiet and kinda lovey. Hugging on me, holding my hand and telling me she’s glad I’m here. Honestly, I’m a little worried. Something’s up and if not, my so called gift of discernment is way off. Did you ever take that, Ministries by Strength, test?

…and I got news for ya. If I find out someone hurt my Momma again, heads are gonna roll! I’m a pretty nice person for the most part, I think, I suppose I could be wrong. However, you don’t mess with my Momma. Many times I’ll turn the other cheek…but when it comes to Momma, you best be steppin’.

Now back to being nice…I decided to look up a few things.

First of all, we have all struggled with gratitude. Why else would gratitude journals be such a big hit! Secondly, it’s easy to feel grateful when things are peachy, not so much when they’re rotten. One blog I read said, When things are rough, we might be indulging a little too much on the “oh-poor-pitiful-me-pot“. She also says, that a reason we might struggle with gratitude is due to “an unexpected change that we have no control over.”

That is certainly a reason for Momma. She has no control over this health issue. She has no control over how it makes her feel, how it steals her energy and her breath. She has no control over the thoughts, actions and attitudes of those with whom she works with and for. Things are out of her hands, out of her control and it’s unpleasant. She’s run down, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

Many feelings, such as love is as much an emotion as it is an action. Love is a choice you make daily. Once the giddy feeling is gone, it’s hard to feel love, simply because it is a choice. Kindness is a choice to. You may have had the worst waitress ever and you could let it ruffle your feathers, you could even decide not to leave her a tip… OR you could leave her a bigger tip in hopes that you brightened her day. You’ve no idea what she’s going through, maybe she was having an off day, maybe her husband left her for another, maybe her Momma has cancer… You just never know, so be kind. It’s hard to be kind when you feel you’ve been mistreated, but it is still a CHOICE, your choice.

So is Gratitude. It’s easy to feel grateful for this, that, and the other when life is good, but what about when it’s not? Momma bought the movie Coat of Many Colors and it came with the Christmas one as well. Both have been played multiple times here since Christmas Eve. I’ve even heard Halen trying to sound like the little girl that plays Dolly Parton, it’s super cute.

I think of the lyrics to that song… Dolly sounds mighty GRATEFUL for that donated box of little rags in every color and the coat her Momma made for her from them, don’t ya think? Times were hard, she had patches on her britches and holes in both her shoes. They had no money, yet she felt rich as she could be. Dolly chose to be grateful no matter her circumstances.

You know how light can push away the darkness? Well, simply being grateful can push away the negative aspects of life, just the same. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, choices are generally hard, feelings are easy. Choices become easier when they become a habit and feelings become hard when you have to choose them.

This blog post took a different route than what I’d originally planned to write about. I guess I’ll just have to write another one tomorrow. We’re gonna talk about “tooting your own horn“. Stay tuned and pray for my Momma please. She needs it and as always, if you feel called to chip in on her medical expenses we’d be more grateful than my simple words could ever express.

Love Y’all!

~Tonya

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