I didn’t write yesterday as I was running errands and working on Momma’s bathroom project. However, I’ve found myself in a bit of reflection for the past few days. You know how sometimes you hear something and then later, it plays over in your mind? New thoughts form based upon it and you simply find yourself in a state of reflection; looking back, thinking back…digesting.
Something I’ve been pondering for a few days is, tooting your own horn. People, some more than others, desire recognition for ALL the good things they’ve done. People also feel required to show some type of appreciation to for the good they’ve received from another. Y’all are probably going to get sick of my examples, but I have yet another one.
Christmas at Momma’s. She had this little manger thing and each day of December family members were supposed to lay a piece of straw in it, to prepare it for Jesus. When you laid your piece of straw in it, you were to say what good deed or kind thing you did that day. Well, a few days were missed…as I think is expected with those types of projects. Kinda like taking a photo a day, ya know? You forget, get busy, and it’s not a normal part of your daily routine.
Anyway, Christmas Day rolls around and Momma has me put all the straw that’s left in the manger. I didn’t say what good or kind thing I’d done, because Momma said it for me. Basically she said I got to lay all the straw in it for the good I’d been doing around her home.
I suppose this was Momma’s way of showing her appreciation. She also gave me money for Christmas, money she doesn’t have to give and what I did with that money with go with me to my grave. Just sayin’.
However…I personally did not need the recognition. I’m not saying that its a bad thing, but there are some of us who do not want the spotlight put on us. I am one of those people. I am not the golden child. I am not perfect, never will be, nor do I desire such a thing. I don’t need a pedestal. I am not better than so-and-so. I am simply here doing whatever I can to help. Doing things I know Momma likes, wants or appreciates having done and so forth, until she’s better and has the energy to do all these things again.
I don’t want the focus on me, just let me play in the background. I like it there. Recognition is nice and deserving, I suppose, but some of us feel guilty over receiving it. We tend to shy away from it. I don’t need to hear, “Your such a good daughter“. It’s not a matter of good, it’s a matter of LOVE. I love my Momma and I am showing her that love through my actions. Just as I assume any daughter or son would, but I know some don’t…and well, they should. Momma’s are special people and they love deeply.
I think about the Amish and how when the parents age they move into what they call a Grossdawdy Haus. A small house built on to or close to the house of the adult children. They believe that as the parents cared for the children, so too should the children care for the parents. Or at least everything I’ve ever read about the Amish way says so. And I believe they have it correct! We should care for our own. That feels natural to me. As if it is the way things should be done.
I also do not want any of my family or siblings thinking that I’m better than them because I’m doing a, b, or c! I don’t want them feeling as if I’m loved more because I did x, y, z. We’re ALL doing things. The things we can to help in our own individual ways. Each makes an impact and one does not outweigh the other, for love has no measure.
I live a pretty blessed life. I am a homemaker. I love that. I like being at home and because of that I am able to be here, to take care of Momma’s home for awhile. Jeff and Holly have full time jobs, so they squeeze in here when they can or when I really need their help with something. I know I can call them and say HEY!
Cayenne, who is also a homemaker, comes and helps me with projects but right now she’s dealing with a lot of puppies. Both her females had puppies, a total of twenty! So needless to say, she’s a bit busy. No matter the jobs, or the puppies, or simply life in general – if I call and say, “This is happening and I need help” one of them will come running, because we all LOVE.
When you love someone, you give, and I’m not talking material things.
We all care, and we all love, and we all do in our own little ways. For some of us, it is hard not only to receive a blessing or gift of kindness but also to be recognized for doing it. Sometimes that recognition leads to jealousy and it can take the focus away from where it’s meant to be. Do you see what I’m saying?
I’m not doing anything that feels unnatural. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard my siblings say, “I’m glad you’re here.” Not because they don’t want to be here, but because they do not have as much availability as I do. Yes, I miss my husband and children. Yes, I’m looking forward to returning to my home, where silence is beautiful thing. But right now, things need to be done and my little family is giving me the gift of time. Time to care for my Momma.
Therefore, it only makes sense that I’m here and I suppose being the oldest plays a part in it as well. Halen does think I’m mighty bossy. The thing is we pick up the slack, no matter where it needs picked up or who does the picking. It’s called, “working together“. Another name for it is, FAMILY.
Yesterday, Momma was telling me about a woman she knows through her work. This woman is never recognized for her good work, yet she continues to do it anyway. That’s love. Love for the career she chose, maybe not the company or some of its people, but the career. I’m sure she would love some recognition, maybe a pay raise and that I understand.
But when one is simply loving on their parent, sibling, child or even a complete stranger – there is no pay raise. There is no need for recognition because Love comes from God and he placed it within us to give.
Therefore, the praise belongs to him. Amen?